The Puppy Master and the Dragon Tamer
by Kukki Boo
Summary: Parody Puppyshipping - Joey's hurt and Kaiba's sad and then they meet. In the rain. ED1- Kaiba has a secret he doesn't want to tell Joey. What will Joey do when he finds out?12!1 Warnings: Mokuba -lol-
1. Magical Interspecies Love

I wrote this a while ago, but couldn't come up with an ending. So I'm gonna have multiple endings. When I get around to writing them...

Joey ran through the downpouring rain, making it hard to tell he was crying. You know, except for the puffy, bloodshot eyes and the sniffling and hoarse sobs. _'Oh, fatha, why mus' ya treat me so badly? Ya jus' drink and yell a' me n' pass out. Ya ha'dly even talk to ya own son anymore any kinda civilized like! It's bad enough dat I'm workin' five jobs ta pay fer ya gambling! But I know it's all my fault. I neva tought leavin' out all my poetry about my smexy dragon who's a CEO and also a guy would lead to ya knowing dat I'm gay! Dat's nuts!'_

As he started to daydream about his "smexy dragon" and his smexy flowy trenchcoats and his only slightly psycho laughter that he wish was directed at him in a better way, despite the fact that he was in crippling pain and had probably broken several things, he stopped at once when he swore he spotted that very person. That happened many times a day because he was slightly obsessed, but he wasn't gonna pass up an opportunity! Forgetting about his anguish temporarily, he ran up anxiously, ready to remember every detail of their meeting so he could post it in his blog.

Kaiba had his head in his hands, and even though his face couldn't be seen, looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in several days; and he hadn't, because he was far too busy and important a person for simplistic needs like surviving. Joey gasped. _'Is he crying?'_

Joey stood there for several minutes dumbly, Seto completely oblivious to his presence. "Seto-sama?" he asked worriedly.

Seto slowly raised his head, bags under his eyes in complete misery, tracks of tears clear on his super manly features of manliness. "Pup?"

Joey held in a squeal. _'Di' he just call me Pup? OH MY GAH, DAT'S SO CUTE! HE CALLED ME PUP! Even dough he clearly hates me...'_ He was sad again. "Whassa matta?"

Seto cleared his throat, crossed his arms and gave his generic 'I'm a multi-million dollar CEO, who are you to talk to me?' look. "What are you talking about? I wasn't crying uncharacteristically like a whiny girl because I had a fight with Mokuba because I was too busy with my ultra important gaming work to feed him which isn't my fault that he won't learn to get over such useless humanistic feelings. Why are people always so intrusive? So you can tell the press all about me, huh? See, that's why I don't let people get past my icy exterior, they always betray me in the end. But the terrible loneliness, I can't stand it," he said, shaking slightly. "By the way, you have something on your shirt. And your arm... And your face. And your neck... And-"

Joey broke into harsh sobs, "I know! I know aready! I neva told anyone dis, but my fatha beats me! I don' do anyting about it 'cause if I go live somewhere else, I won' be allowed ta drink anymore 'til I'm ol' enough! It's not fair!"

Seto bent down, gently grabbing onto his "pup"'s chin, leaning in until they were almost touching, and began running his tongue along the tears _erotically_. Joey shuttered. In a bad way. "Wha' da hell-"

"Shhhh," Seto hissed seductively, pressing a finger to Joey's lips. "It's okay," he whispered, "I know. I've always known. You don't even hide it well, you just got lucky your friends are complete morons."

"Wait," Joey pushed him away in sudden anger, "Ya _knew_? Ya knew n ya did notin'? Ya freakin' rich! Ya coulda done sometin' ya basta'd!"

Seto gathered his lost puppy in his arms, shushing him once again as he went back to crying. "Because I knew you had to do it for yourself. It would mean more that way. But it hurt so much, seeing you like that. You believe I have your best interest in mind, right?"

Joey nodded pathetically, returning the embrace.

"Good boy." He tilted Joey's head up, sticking his tongue in his pup's mouth like the hormonal teenager he was.

Joey's eyes closed, unconsciously bringing his arms around Seto's neck. He was in complete bliss. His dragon tasted like cinnamon. Probably because of the cinnamon flavored mints he was stuffing down his throat all day long, but nevertheless...

Seto pulled back, gagging and spluttering at the awful mix of tastes. He quickly pulled out his Altoids tin and shoved a handful in his mouth. Oh, that would burn later alright, but it was worth it now. "What was that?"

Joey looked down in embarrassment. "Well... ya knew my dad beat me, n I di'n't brush my teeth dis morning, and..."

Seto crossed his arms, dissatisfied. "Yeah, whatever. I'll fix that with my awesome riches. By the way, you might want to see a doctor..."

"Nope."

"Okay."

Seto stood up, offering a hand to his puppy, who gladly took it. "So, what now?"


	2. Magical Secret Time

This is actually supposed to be the second ending, but I wrote it first...

A tired chuckle was heard from Kaiba.

"Wha's sa funny?"

Kaiba bowed his head, cheeks reddening. "It's just... I'm so filled with Joey, Joey." His blush darkened when he got no reaction. "You get it? Because Joey sounds kind of like- n-nevermind."

Joey frowned, confusion evident. 'Wha's he 'sinuatin? 'e couldn't mean... We 'aven't even made out wiv our tongues battlin' fer dom'nance 'til we needs ta breave yet.'

"Joey," Kaiba said, forcing a small smile onto his lips. Fear was reflected in his eyes. "There's something I need to tell you..."

Joey's eyes widened at the reluctance in the tone of voice. He raised his hands shakily. "Oh, no. We 'aven't even- and 'ow does a guy even- N-no..."

"I can't," he sighed, completely ignoring what Joey had said. "I can't do it out here. Let's go somewhere more private. Like a restaurant. It would be best if you were eating."

Joey was led out of the park by Kaiba, who didn't seem to notice the hyperventilating teen the whole way. Unfortunately, he couldn't wriggle his arm out of the hold. _'Ren! Trist'! Yugi! Fada! 'elp me!'_

--

"Are you enjoying your sundae?"

Joey nodded, shoveling another bite into his pried open mouth to join the rest that kept coming up. "Sa ya needed ta tell meh sometin'?"

Kaiba adverted his gaze worriedly, fiddling his thumbs. "You see, the thing is, Joey... I was going to hide this from you, but over time, you'll definitely find out." Joey held his mouth. "Mokuba would want you to know, because he likes to meddle in other people's business, and, I just can't risk that. I kind of..."

Joey felt like his was about to burst into tears. '_ohgahohgahohgahwhymeeee!?'_

"I've liked you for a while now." His bottom lip trembled with emotion, apparently shame. "I used to... start fights with you on purpose, and glare at you in class just to see you pay attention to me. A few times, I even... had erotic dreams with me and... the blue eyes. And you. I'm sorry. I tried to get a lobotomy, but Mokuba said that I couldn't be a CEO then."

"You..."

Kaiba moved to get up. "I knew this was a bad idea," he whispered glumly.

"Hey," Joey snapped, grabbing his arm. "Why d'ya feel da need ta insult meh every chance ya get?"

"What are you talking about? I didn't..."

"I's _dat_ bad ta like me, huh?" He pouted, arms crossed childishly. "I'll have ya know, tons a gals go fer me."

"I-I didn't- m-mean that at all..." Kaiba stuttered, confused voice breaking, sounding like his heart was as well.

Joey walked up next to him, leaning one hand on the table. "Bu' why were ya sa embarrassed by i'?"

"Because..." He kept his head low. "I'm a CEO, and..."

"I's arrigh'," Joey assured him. "How long was dis goin' on?"

Kaiba had his arms around himself uneasily. "Three years."

"Really?" Joey breathed, astonished. He failed to mention he had also been borderline--if you can even say that--obsessed for a few years. Somehow, he now felt like he had some kind of upper hand in the relationship, or something. He wasn't going to ruin that. Instead, he stole a kiss. "Let's go home."

--

Kaiba put his coat on the hanger, Joey hanging off his arm. Or the other way around, it was hard to tell when they couldn't keep their hands off eachother and had now become bound into one with their hearts and all.

"Seto, you're home!" came a headache inducing screech, neither able to prepare before they were both tackled to the floor by a likely insane child that resembled a monkey hidden in a great mess of black fur/hair. "Oh my God, Joey! I didn't even notice you there, you looked like one being! What are you doing here? Did my brother finally tell you that he's been madly obsessively in love with you for the past three years and that he writes about all of his fantasies in his journal-"

"Mokuba!" Seto interrupted heatedly. "How do you- I tore up all my journal pages!"

"I know, Seto," Mokuba whined, "But I got bored, so I took them out of the trash and put them together again. And I needed something new to read because you made me read all the books in the library and won't let me read fiction because I don't need any more of that hocus pocus bullshit, so I read them."

Joey's face lit up, smirking at the CEO evilly. "Ah? Tell meh 'bout dem den. Wa' dey any good?"

"Well," Mokuba scratched what was probably his head, "I guess. It was really graphic, but it was kind of amateurishly written."

"Mokuba..." Kaiba seethed, unable to really do anything because he was still connected to Joey.

"Don't worry, big brother!" Mokuba smiled, not like anyone could see, "I'll leave you and Joey alone so you can act out all the things I read." He ran off giggling.

Kaiba growled, "Sometimes, that kid..."

"Don' warry 'bout i'. Basides, 'is suggestion migh' be fun."

Kaiba blushed again as the two went upstairs.

"Sa wha' 'bout tellin' me dose stories?" Joey asked suggestively, both now dressed in their pajamas. Kaiba had on steely blue silk pajamas that easily blended with his eyes and had in white cursive writing, 'KC' in the middle, below it a crudely written, 'S+J 4evr!'. Joey borrowed a pair of powder yellow pajamas with a dancing chick and bunny on it. It had the same writing.

Kaiba punched his arm playfully. "How about we make out until we get bored?"

Joey would have responded with a well thought out, 'Why, that sounds perfectly fine. Though, I'd rather do the other thing,' in actual, factual good English, but he wasn't given a chance. However, he was blown away at the sudden passion being pressed against and into his mouth. It was as if the icy CEO was pouring all of his hidden emotions into him, the love and the pain and the anger and the etc, letting them be absorbed into his very soul in the vicious cycle that was their romance, only to be cruelly torn apart by the merciless requirement of breathing, and to be started once again.

"I wuv you, Pup," Kaiba panted, overtaken by exhaustion and resorting to cuddling.

Joey smiled, the first true smile in his whole entire life. "I wuv yas ta, Dragon."

--

The next morning, Seto 'Puppy Master' Kaiba and Joey 'Dragon Tamer' Wheeler were awoken by the door slamming into the wall, followed by a hyperactive bundle of sugar bouncing onto their bed, and legs. "Look Seto, Seto! Seto, read this, Seto!" He shouted, shoving the morning newspaper into the yawning face of Kaiba. His eyes scanned over it as he grumbled obscenities under his breath. His sleepiness quickly faded, his eyes urgently pressingly serious. "Thank you, Mokuba. Please give us a moment alone," he said in his old voice void of emotion. Joey frowned, knowing it must be something urgently pressingly serious.

"Wha's wrang, Dragon?" He asked softly so as not to startle or frighten the brooding creature.

"I'll tell you once you're dressed," he answered, already shutting the bathroom door.

Joey complied and unzipped his chicky pajamas. _'I wonda what 'appened. 'E's actin' all different fram lasnigh'. I'd give anytin' ta 'ave 'im in mah a'ms fer anoda nigh'... Don' matta anyways. Whateva, oua love will make i' trough. Ah feel like I gah sometin' I've been waitin' fer all my life. I'll neva be lonely again. En neida will you, mah Dragon.'_

"Look at this," Kaiba demanded, not having the patience for his daydreams.

Joey's loving greeting caught in his throat as he gazed at the picture on the front page of them at the restaurant, the whole page filled with false information about their life together that didn't exist until yesterday. "D-Dragon..."

Kaiba lowered the paper, throwing Joey his shoes. "In other words, get out, don't be seen, move out, and never come back, ever again."

Joey could hardly breathe, much a repeat of the day before. "Wha'?"

"We're breaking up."

"Oh. Bu'... Bu', I tought ya wuved me!" The hot tears of betrayal almost welled up in his eyes, but they didn't yet.

Kaiba turned his head to the side. "I do. So much that it hurts, even when you're right beside me. But I'm a CEO. I can't deal with these rumors right now. Goodbye, Joey."

Without making a movement, he was now outside of the mansion, and his dragon was gone. Trembling fingers reached into his pocket and honey eyes watered while he pushed the numbers rhythmically, if you thought about it. "Mammy? Mah boyfren' broked up wiv me!"


End file.
